Sunday, July 15, 2007

One Would Think...

One would think...

That as time goes by, I get more and more nervous about Switzerland.

And... they're, well, not entirely right.

It's one of the hardest emotions or feelings to convey. Okay.. not the hardest, but it's difficult to explain.

I have moments every once in a while, where I think, "Oh interjection, Maggie, what have you gotten yourself into?"

but mostly I just want to go.

Now.

Leave.

Yes. It's true.

Why?

I don't want to say good bye. Those words will be so hard for me. Why do you think I didn't go to school that last day? I didn't want to go through that. I just avoided it. So to all of you who I missed... well, good bye.

July 31 - it's supposed to be a grand old happy day.. but it's going to be pretty sad. So you all need to come and cheer me up eh? Yes. You do.

It stilll seem surreal.

Am I really leaving my mother? father? brother? church family? friends?

all.of.it

Behind.

I'll come back, sure I will.

And I'll grow, and, um, mature? But I will change. Undergo an adventure many people can't even imagine. Hopefully most of you reading this can.

Anyways, while I'm learning to live in a new way, being stretched in all directions...

You'll be at home. With the same poeple. Just furthering the development and depth of your relationships with each other.

Getting to know each other.

And while I will think of you each day, not a day will go by without me thinking of you.

You won't miss me.

Sure, you'll have dates or moments when you'll think of me... but each day? Of course not. You'll get used to it. You're in your safe little home. Safe little school. Safe circle of friends.

But.

I'm not.

New food, new culture, new language, new people, new family, new friends, new church, new school, new traditions.

I'm not complaining, I assure you I'm not.

I brought this upon myself.

And I'm excited.

I feel so privliged.

I feel so blessed.

Ready to jump in, experience life, live life.

Not just think about it.

Here I go, like when you get strapped into a rollar coaster.

I always have that moment of dread and I realize I'm in for the full ride, no turning back.

22 more days till I'm gone for 340.

1 comment:

cAT said...

one would think...

one such as myself woulf too...

I thought? a THOUGHT? no way!