Last Week... Last Day... A Wet Wreck

I am a wreck.

A total wreck.

I have cried multipul times for the past, eh, 5 days or so... and it, uh, it is lame.

I was told crying makes you stronger. I could be a weight lifter soon.

I got really, dangerously close to my friends this year...

But my Swiss friends... they meant the world to me. It is hard to explain the relationship I had with them. Like back home, I always had my parents there for me. But they were like my family. I loved my host famlies, but I was always changing. These people... they were always there for me.

I wasn't just a bystander in our class. People in the class told me that I truly was a part of the class and that it wouldnt be the same at all without me... and I think I believe them. I participated. We hung out after school. Train rides. Bike rides. Walks.

These were my friends.

And a year is more than enough time to get attatched to someone.

And every day I have to say good bye... and it is killing me. I do not like it.

Last night I had to say good bye to Julia.

At first I was ok, but she was crying. But then I said, "I don't want to go through that door." so she said she would coem wtih me. And we walked through her door... and then I cried and couldn't stop. These are the tears that you can't stop from coming and that make you shake and feel awful.

I feel horrible...

And now a bit better.

I am for the last time in my school today. I did a presentation, in English, about, well, me and my life and America. It was pretty lame. i didn't have the pictures so I had to make up a bunch of crap. Worst part was when the gum fell out of my mouth onto the floor. But whatever... I will never see these people ever again.

I want this to stop. time to stop. Or to go home this second and skip the good byes... but I have to say good bye. Prepare to go home. But it is so hard...